There’s an unspoken rule in Nigeria:

If you’re invited to a wedding… you’re expected to show up.

And not just show up, show up well dressed, with aso ebi, ready to spray, smile, and celebrate.

But let’s be honest for a second…

Is it actually by force?

Because these days, attending a wedding is not just “being present.”

It’s:

• buying aso ebi
• sewing
• makeup, hair, accessories
• transport
• gifts or spraying

And before you know it, one wedding has turned into a full financial commitment.

Now imagine having multiple weddings in one month.

Different friends.

Different families.

Different aso ebi.

Suddenly, your budget is under pressure… and you’re still expected to “show love.”

And here’s where it gets tricky.

Sometimes you genuinely want to be there.

But:

• you’re tired
• you’re financially stretched
• or you just need a break

Yet saying no can feel awkward.

Because in our culture, attendance is often seen as support.

So people show up anyway.

Even when it’s inconvenient.

Even when it’s stressful.

Even when they really don’t want to.

But maybe it’s time to start asking a different question:

Can support look different?

What if:

• you celebrate from a distance
• you send a gift instead
• you show up for the ones that truly matter most

Without feeling guilty?

Because the truth is, not every invitation requires your physical presence.

And choosing yourself doesn’t mean you don’t care.

At the same time, couples are also starting to realize something:

Guests are trying.

Between costs, time, and logistics, showing up is not as simple as it used to be.

Maybe the balance is this:

Attend intentionally.

Invite intentionally.

And understand that everyone is doing their best.

Ultimately,

Weddings are about love and community.

But they shouldn’t feel like an obligation.

So the next time you get an invite, pause and ask yourself:

Do I really want to be there?

And answer honestly to avoid “I for just dey house oh”.